How do you heal a broken heart? Nights are the most haunting. I keep waking up from this nightmare to find the nightmare paralyzing my soul worse awake than when I am asleep. 

OH TAYLOR, I love you so much. It breaks my heart to think of you alone in a cell.  I scream out to God to help you. My heart is so broken. How does a person breathe when you the one who means everything to you? I know my world will go on- and I do love life, but I almost don’t want the pain to go away because its the feeling right now that is real. I do want it to go away, the anxiety is killing me, but I love you so much, I can’t let go. 

My sobs woke Elise up tonight. She held me and I couldn’t help but think that I should be holding her.  What of the pit in your stomach that never seems to be consoled? We prayed together tonight. A mother comforted by her daughter. It really is a beautiful thing. Why are my children so good? I ache for them. 

Thank God for some relief. 

It’s so hard.