Christmas is here. This will be our second Christmas without Taylor,and hopefully our last.
By this time of year we have watched or acted out the Nativity scene, had fun White Elephant games, delivered goodies to the neighbors and spent time with extended family and friends. Christmas Eve the kids open pajama bags, a tradition that Taylor brought to our family from when he was a kid. The kids all got something to sleep in and some cereal for the morning. They always end up eating it Christmas Eve night, and tonight was no exception.
I have placed the stockings out and put together the art easel for Caleb. Joey will wake up to a skateboard and Fisher to a scooter. Bensen is getting older now and didn’t really ask for anything for Christmas. He has always been a minimalist, and that seems to be getting more and more pronounced. He will get some protein bars and spending cash-he’ll like that. Elise will be home for Christmas in a couple days. This will be our first Christmas morning without her. We are definitely feeling the absence of everything she brings to our family and this time of year. She is my baker and will spend hours on things like macaroons or fancy cookies- I really miss her, in so many ways..
Tonight as I get ready for bed, I look back at the year and what we have been through. I wonder about how we have made it this far. I don’t really wonder, I know how we have made it this far, but it is beautiful to think about, and there is an awe that it is even possible. We have seen so many miracles, and while it has been heartbreaking, it has also been healing. There have been many sleepless nights and ups and downs of emotions. I have cried out to heaven and have been met with everything the Lord has promised. Our hearts have been healed and our needs have been met. “Tender Mercies” seems so cliche, but how do you describe it in any other words? My children have been strengthened and have become better human beings. How could I be anything but grateful? I am grateful.
This world is so much more than what we see. We really are here to help one another and to have experiences that change our hearts. I am full of gratitude for things that I had hoped for, in faith, that have come to life. How do I even express the feelings of gratitude I have for this? It’s impossible. I guess for now, I’ll just end with…”For unto us a child is born…and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace”. I pray for you all to have a Merry Christmas and that we all can see and feel how Wonderful He really is.
Love, Marie
